Gratitude
When I started thinking about this affirmation, I was thinking about how gratitude is being thankful for what we have right in this moment. And that it doesn’t have to be the BIG things. Sometimes I think we struggle with reserving gratitude for things that we define to be big enough to count.
We look around and struggle to find gratitude, because when looking at today compared to yesterday, not much has changed. How can we be grateful when nothing momentous has happened? We put gratitude in a box reserved for the extraordinary. This thought can make us count what we are lacking, to see the areas where we haven’t quite “made it.” Instead of filling us up with that warm glow of contentment, these thoughts create a knot in our stomach tied together with “to do’s.”
When I start to feel that knot tighten and my anxiety starts that roller coaster climb, I can rediscover gratitude in slowing down. When I stop and look around, I can find gratitude in watching as the sky transforms from blue to orange and then pink to dark blue. I can find it in helping my son work on his Lego and witnessing him light up with pride at finishing what he’s been making. I can find it in silly dance parties and my daughter’s unrestrained giggles. I can find it in real conversations with my mom or dad as we enjoy spending time together. I can find it in taking a nap and really feeling the softness of my blankets, relishing the cocoon of warmth as I pull the blankets around me and my cat fits herself into the crook of my stomach as close as she can get.
Gratitude is not a future event that keeps us in an endless loop pursuing “not there yets.” I’ll be so grateful and happy when I achieve the thing, get the thing or am the thing. It’s an appreciation of what I have now, the security in looking around and saying what I have and who I am is enough. It is having invested in relationships and surrounded myself with people that I can’t imagine not having their presence in my life.
These thoughts led me to an alternate perspective on gratitude. What if gratitude isn’t only about us? What if gratitude is what we can do to add to someone else’s tank that is dangerously close to empty? What if we changed our mindset from what do I have to what can I do? What if gratitude is an action we take to brighten someone else’s day and help give them something to be grateful for?
And this mindset brings the whole idea full circle for me. I don’t know about you, but when I stop running in my own circles and anonymously buy a coffee for the person behind me in the Dunkin line, make my sister a care package of her favorite candy, a piece of art and a few extra dollars when I know she’s having a hard week or truly look at someone and tell them something I appreciate about them out loud, I add to their gratitude list, but I also add to mine. When I spend my time, energy or spare change, it does not result in a reduction, it instantaneously fills me up.
So, in the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday this week, I’ll count my blessings, but I’m also going to look for those opportunities to spread some joy to someone else. Because in my opinion, those are the moments that count and these things have a way of linking together in a chain reaction. One small act of kindness might not seem like much, but it has so much potential energy that continues onward, rippling forward from each person it touches. I am grateful that I am learning that through the cultivation of my own gratitude, I have more than enough to pay it forward.
If you are looking for ideas for your own small acts of kindness, check out this website. I found it last year and it has a lot of great ideas.
